Crisis managers or choice managers?

How can we get our older clients to plan ahead?

by Barbara Carter, Papillon Consulting Services

As a fellow eldercare professional, I would like to ask you the following question: did you get involved in the eldercare industry because you wanted to deal with crisis after crisis after crisis? I bet I know the answer.

I would venture to say that most of us chose eldercare as a field of work because we want to help older people. We have a genuine desire to make the transition to old age as smooth as possible for older adults and their families. But the reality is that we are really crisis managers.

Too often when we get an email or a phone call it is from family members in distress over their parents; a parent may have had a stroke, or been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, or lost a spouse. Whatever the trigger, the denial and lack of action to deal with aging can not be put off any longer. Something must be done, and it must be done NOW. Now your expertise as a crisis manager is shifted into high gear.

I don’t think that you or I would ever turn away a family in distress. But I hazard to say that most of us would not want to spend the rest of our careers putting out fires. We all know how stressful a livelihood that can be.

I’ll make a decision when I’m good and ready

One of the frustrations in dealing with older adults is they constantly tell you they will make some decisions when they are ready, or when they have to. Unfortunately by the time they are ready to make a decision, the choices have become very restricted. When they have to make a decision, the choices are even further reduced.

Part of our role as service providers and caregivers is to encourage older adults and their families to plan. Plan for financial security. Plan for medical emergencies. And plan for housing as they age. For example, most older clients say that they want to stay in their own homes as long as possible—but don’t plan for any contingencies that may threaten that condition. The family home can become an unsafe place if the person has a disability and the home is not adapted. It can become frightening if there are no security measures to discourage burglars or safety measures to aid ambulation. It can become a burden to maintain financially and physically. And it can be a very lonely environment for someone who has just lost a spouse.

I don’t anticipate that those of us in the eldercare industry will begin turning away crisis management clients. But wouldn’t you rather see older adults and their families taking charge of their health, financial, social and housing needs? Taking charge about independent living, meaning our clients have more choices? Taking charge when the client is younger, in good health, and/or part of a couple?

Starving themselves to leave an inheritance

As service providers we need to take the lead. We have to foster open dialogues between older adults and their children or their advisors. We have to open their eyes to the realities of our health care system. We have to get them to understand that there won’t be government handouts in the future. We have to convince older adults that they don’t need to starve themselves, just so their children can have an inheritance.

We have to get people to plan and act — now, when they have the choices, not later, when they have a crisis. Perhaps this means shocking them. Perhaps it means tough love. But however we do it, we have to start the process. If it sounds like I am venting or preaching, perhaps I am. But I see too many scenarios that end up with unhappy, unplanned crisis situations. I am seeing my business go from helping and planning to late night distress calls and crying families.

I would encourage all of us in the industry to do what it takes to get people to be more proactive rather than reactive when dealing with eldercare issues; to change crisis management into choice management. Only then will we truly be helping people as they age.

If you would like to add your opinion, or better yet, tell your own story, send us an email message. Your reply may be added here, and may be edited for content for length.

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